Technical support at work almost made me have an aneurism today, I swear to fucking god.
"Hi, I need to re-instate my access for *program*, I was on a leave of absence and I'm back."
"Not our problem, contact X at *department*, they'll do it."
"Not my problem, contact IT and they'll do it for you"
"We have no idea what program you are talking about"
*bangs my head repeatedly on my desk*
"So who DO I talk to, then?"
"Your manager." (Seriously, fuckers, my manager has NO idea how to do this kind of stuff, even if we had the capability! WTF?!)
"Fuck off and die! My manager can't do this!" (well, maybe minus the first part)
"uhhhhh... hold please"
At this point, the call has gone on for FORTY FUCKING MINUTES, kid you not. I'm turning purple. It's one freaking tiny little program that I use once a month, and every single person in my role uses once a month, and no one in IT has any fucking idea what it is?! Fuck!
Transferred to another department.
"Uhhhhhhh what? Department 1 should have done that"
"Let me transfer you again"
*bangs head against desk until my eyeballs rattle*
"Ahthaenks youssshhhh ferrr callg (unintelligible) rowh cenh ah help youth?"
(repeats bullshit problem for the eleventy billionth time)
"aahmmla; e;piohbfljbv c;ikfgjhbilhfgj.nb;ofgijd;"
(FUCKING ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!?!?!)
"Mehhmmmmmm, Aghee dunno what you arrhee ashhkn ferrr"
"Get me a manager. Now."
"Whull meehmmm, what aah emm tryngj to tfelch you..."
"Manager. Please. Thank you."
After an hour and a half (yes, I timed it) I was transferred to a totally unrelated department, who had no control over the issue but *DING!!!* knew the program I was trying to get into.
He called Department 1 for me and ripped them a new one.
Guess who got access after that!
And I wonder why I drink.