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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Poop poop, poop galore

Phew! What a whirlwind two days... I got cleared by the doctor to go back to work so it's been kind of hectic.

My two dogs have become much accustomed to Mommy staying home all day every day with them, so yesterday was UGLY. When I got home at 6PM, my house was a fucking wreck. Dumbshit dogs ate five pounds of sugar, the box the sugar came in, an extra large tub of peanut butter, and most of the peanut butter tub. Abso-fucking-lutely disgusting.

Sugar, when wetted and allowed to dry, apparently creates this glue-like substance which is DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE to get off of linoleum. I mopped... and mopped...and mopped... it's still rather sticky.

So this morning I wake up to one of them puking. Right by my bed. Yum! Walk out into the living room and we had some verrrrrrrry wet accidents in the living room. Thankfully they were on the throw rug and not the berber carpet.

I decided to sequester the fuckers in the kitchen, so that if I had to do clean up it'd be easier to do. Good call, dudes. It was probably the most disgusting cleanup I've ever done in the history of ever. Shit. Everywhere. Literally. Like a shit-bomb exploded in the middle of the floor. But better on the linoleum than on the carpet, in my opinion. I can bleach the linoleum.

And now my dog Cyrus is having abdominal distress, it's probably bad gas from, you know... 4 pounds of sugary goodness... but I'm worried, and a lot less chipper than normal. I apologize.

Stay tuned for more fun happy goodness. I promise. Like the Saga of the Granny Panties. It's coming.

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