It's almost ridiculous that I haven't thought to document my adventures before. I mean, my life is pretty much an epic saga of awesome, after all. Stories... I've got stories.
So my Partner in Crime, Amie, has been MIA for the last few weeks with a terminal case of asshole family members. True story.
Today was the first time in a long time we've been able to make beautiful fun, and it was really kind of awesome. Holy hell.
Nothing like "looking for a rental house" by driving through the ritzy area of town, driving 10 miles per hour down the middle of the road. Windows down, smoking, listening to metal. My insane dog in the back of the car squealing cause she sees things to kill. Fucking white ass gangsta Amazon chicks, here.
The funniest part about the whole thing was this homicidal cat laying in the middle of this tiny little fucking back road that they only half paved cause I guess only two people drive down it a year. So, the cat. The god damn cat is sitting in the middle of the road and will.not.move. It's giving me the death stare. It's looking at me like "I'm going to eat your fucking brains you stupid piece of shit human. Go around!". So I stop. And we stare. And we stare some more.
The cat FINALLY moves it's mangy fat ass off the road, but makes sure to maintain eye contact while furiously flicking it's tail like it thinks the tail is some kind of whip of doom, and the cat will be able to tear my head off with it, if only cat tries hard enough.
Amie just looks at me and says "That cat is going to kill you".
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